Planners Anonymous.

I’m a planner. 
I love to plan.
I have things in my mental calendar for the next few years.
I feel the need to begin with “Hi, my name is Nikki. And I’m a planner.” 

Last weekend my mom and I were out and about and I heard a new song by Francesca Battistelli called “Strangely Dim”. I didn’t know the words so I hummed along to the melody. I didn’t hear the whole song but I knew it was something about doubt, worry and fixing our eyes on you. That was it. 
Fast forward a week and I find myself in one of “those” moods. You know the kind. For no major reason at all, you’re just in a blah mood. But, when I started writing it all down I realized why I was in one of “those” moods. I was focusing on the stuff I can’t control, predict or plan. All of the little things turned into one (kind of large) gray cloud hovering over me. My mom said it perfectly in a text message this evening, “Sometimes life just won’t cooperate.” Can I get an a.m.e.n!? Sometimes (all right, MOST times) I’m not OK with NOT knowing the plan. Sometimes, I feel like a character in the SIMS games. Like someone is saying “let’s throw in this twist, she’ll never see it coming!” If I’m not careful these thoughts will eat away at any shred of hope left. These are lies. My life isn’t pointless. I’m not being played and I’m surely not a character being confused for God’s enjoyment. In every new season I’m realizing that God has given me a choice. I can choose to believe that what he has for me, at this present moment, is all I need. AND is actually good for me. OR I can choose to look at unanswered prayers and demand an answer. 
Tonight, I heard Strangely Dim again and this time I looked up the lyrics. 
I was focused on what ifs and I don’t knows and I lost my bearings for a bit. Then, I heard this song and I was reminded of the truth. 

Here is  a piece of what Francesca said when she was interviewed about this song, 
  “I tend to not enjoy the moment because I’m too busy worried about what’s going to happen. I can get distracted and bogged down by my circumstances. When I started writing the song, it was really hitting home with me.” 
This is exactly where I was tonight. I was distracted and bogged down by circumstances that were never in my control. At times, I feel a false sense of control because my to-do list is organized, I’ve checked off all the boxes, and figured out each possible outcome for the future. Soon, I begin to get angry when things don’t pan out to my exact specifications. Then, songs like this one smack me across the face and remind me to “snap out of it!” (Moonstruck reference!).

I’m a recovering control freak. I’m learning that my way isn’t always the best way. What I think is the right choice, sometimes isn’t. And, possibly the hardest of all, my plan won’t happen the way I designed it to. It’s not supposed to happen the way I designed it to. I can’t see the whole picture. My perspective isn’t clear. I don’t know best {ouch}.
Therefore, I must “fix my eyes/on all that you are/until every doubt I feel/deep in my heart/grows strangely dim/Let all my worries fade/and fall to the ground/cause when I seek Your face/and don’t look around/any place I’m in/grows strangely dim.”

So, here is to those of us who are planners. The ones who are often asked to hand over our calendars, agendas and blueprints to the one who actually knows what he is doing. 

Here is letting go of the steering wheel and riding shotgun to the one in charge of it all. Maybe from this seat we’ll enjoy the view on our way to destination UNKNOWN instead of analyzing the path we take to get there. 

 

Here is the link to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5qD9HOoGpQ
Here is the link to the story behind the song: http://www.newreleasetuesday.com/article.php?article_id=1056

 

Redemption.

I wonder if I should change the name of my blog. I’m currently on my second year teaching, but this is my first year teaching in Virginia. Maybe one day I will, but until a new name comes to mind, I think I’ll stick with the old one. 

 While I was driving through the countryside the other day I was blasting one of my favorite songs called “We the Redeemed” by Hillsong. I discovered this song during the summer of 2011 and it has been played continuously since then! One of my favorite ways to learn about God, his word and how it all applies in my life is through word study. I love taking words apart and searching out the meanings in the dictionary. I think sometimes we try to reason our knowledge of God and what we think something means. We forget what our teachers taught us to do and what I teach my kids everyday to do. If you don’t know what a word means or can’t quite figure out a sentence…clarify it! The dictionary can be your best friend! Anyway, the reason I decided to write today was to discuss one of my favorite words in the entire English language. Redeemed (Redemption, Redeeming, Reedem). Hopefully, after reading this you’ll know why. 

 Throughout my time at Radford University I heard this word a lot. We talked about it and sang of God’s redeeming love through his son Jesus. Learning of God’s redeeming love for you and I can feel kind of distant and theological. We can be intimidated by powerful verses about God sending his son for us. I think this is partly because we are living so long after Jesus’ death that we sometimes forgot that someone actually died.  But, if you look at what the word redeem means it all becomes very clear. Here is the definition from the Strong’s Concordance:

Short Definition: ransom, redeem
Definition: buy out, buy away from, ransom, purchase out, buy, redeem, choose

I think back to my summer working at an arcade in New Hampshire. Among my days working at the snack bar, I had the chance to work at the Redemption Counter. I’d take tickets from people and give them a prize in return. People spent hours in the arcade playing different games. Some people played without purpose, they were playing for fun. Others had a prize in mind. Some were collecting tickets to buy a stuffed animal the size of a small car and others were wanting a new trinket. Either way, tickets were earned and then spent.
Jesus came to earth with a very distinct and important purpose. He came to the arcade with a prize in mind, and he didn’t leave until the prize was won. His reason for birth was you. His reason for life was you. His reason for dying on a cross was you. He came to save us because we cannot save ourselves. 
That last sentence can strike a nerve in us because we are very independent creatures. We like to earn what we get in this life. How many times have we felt gipped because our efforts went unnoticed while someone’s lack of gusto was rewarded with balloons and cake. We pride ourselves in our accomplishments and how well we do our jobs. But, the kicker with God is you cannot earn it. Redemption is not a game at the arcade. “K, Jesus. I’ve played Skeeball, Deal or No Deal and Whack a Mole. I’ve earned 25 tickets. I’d like to erase these three moments from my life last week.” It doesn’t work like that. You and I cannot earn our new clean slates. 

Redemption means to ransom.  If there is a ransom then there is someone needing to pay the ransom and someone waiting to get paid. There is also a reason something is being held until payment is received. The reason there is price is because sin entered the world through Adam and Eve and now we are all born sinners. Our sin separates us from God. There is nothing we can do to shorten the canyon between sin and God. The only way to close that gap is atonement. Blood has to be shed. The reason blood has to be shed is because… 
 Romans 6:23 “The wages of sin is death.“
The wages or PRICE of sin is death. The person behind the cash register is our enemy. satan. Therefore, the person waiting for our payment…is if the devil. Ew. 
In the old testament, people would sacrifice animals for this reason. They would pray that through the sacrifice and shedding of innocent (sinless) blood that God would forgive them. It worked for a long time, but God saw the hearts of his children. He saw us drifting and knew something needed to be done. His plan? Bring Jesus to the redemption counter at the arcade in exchange for every single one of us. God looked evil straight in the face and said “Take my son. Take his blood. Let his blood be shed once and for all. After him, there will no longer be need for blood to flow.” Romans 5 discusses this. Just as sin and death was brought to us by one man, then let grace, forgiveness and redemption be available to all through one man. 
Jesus’ purpose in life was to live a sinless life so his sacrifice, the shedding of his blood, would pay off our debt to sin. His death paid off our credit card of sin. 

Romans 6 says “the wages of sin is death.” That means, the cost of sin is death. Not physical death, but spiritual death. Spiritual death is separation from God, an eternity without him. And, if you’re not spending eternity with God…then where are you spending it? 

We will never cease to need redemption. 
If you don’t know Jesus as your savior then your debt is still accruing interest and you continually add more to the debt you owe everyday. And, at some point the debt will have to be paid. It’s a debt you and I cannot afford to pay. 
The other way to pay off our debt is through accepting Jesus’ death as the payment for our sin. 
But, even after you accept Jesus’ death, accept him as the man who paid your debt, you still need redemption.
Everyday that we live we struggle with sin. We wrestle with choices and sometimes we make the wrong ones. The absolutely wonderful thing about God is that each day he says, “Give that to me. I’ll redeem that.” He will take our dirty life and give us a prize in return. It is like taking a ticket that has been ripped, crumpled up and dropped in mud to the redemption counter and getting the new car in the lot for it. 

One last thing about redemption that I love is that it works on the sins that have been done to you. God doesn’t just redeem your sins, your screw-ups. God redeems the sins of others that have caused you great pain.  You bring it to him and in return you get a new life. You get hope, peace, healing, a new perspective, a fresh start. The prizes from God’s redemption counter are endless. 

We are full of mistakes.
We say the wrong thing.
Make the wrong choice.
We hurt.
We break.
We get angry.
We fail.
We are weak.
We try.
We mourn.
We weep.
We curse.
We lie.
We fight.
We long for things.

In, through and after it all, God will redeem. 

James said WHAT!?

This post won’t have much, if any, correlation to teaching. However, I felt urged to share this awesome lesson I learned this morning.

While reading James one is faced with a powerful set of verses. James 1:9-10 says “Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation and the rich in his humiliation because like a flower of the grass he will pass away.” Depending on where you are in life right now and your opinion of the poor and rich, this could cause you to slam the book shut, with the possibility of never returning. But, as I studied and read the commentary on this verse I was struck with a truth I hadn’t yet learned. Every time I had come across this verse I had assumed that some how God was saying the poor are really rich and the rich are really poor. Which, in some instances can be true. But, it seemed like there was a deeper message in the strong wording of these vereses. Yes, we are commanded (not asked, it’s a must) to help the poor because “There will never cease to be poor in you land.” Deuteronomy 15:11. There is more to uncover in these verses penned by James.

In the study we were asked to place James 1:10-11 next to 1 Peter 1:24-25 and answer this question, “Who is James comparing to withering flowers?” My original answer to this question would have been the rich, because in James 1:10-11 the word “he” directly follows the verse talking about the rich. But, then look at what 1 Peter 1:24-25 says, “All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of the grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of he Lord remains forever.” I had never thought of these verses together, nor had it ever crossed my mind that these two verses might be connected. The book of 1 Peter falls RIGHT after James, go figure. Its like someone planned it that way  ;)

To answer the author’s question I re-read the verse in 1 Peter and then went back to James. And then my nerdy side kicked in. {{Side note: I love to study! I love looking at how sentences are worded and how they are formed. Punctuation can tell us a lot if we take the time to follow it..}} Back to scripture. James never put a period after verse 9 where he mentions the poor. He kept writing and wrote about the rich. He wrapped up his point with “he will pass away.” Not the rich will pass away, which is what I originally thought because the rich were named in the statement before.

But, that’s not the case!

James is telling the poor to boast in their position right now and James is telling the rich to boast in their humiliation because HE will soon pass away. The very reason I originally answered the author’s question one way, now became the reason I fully grasped the verse. Really exciting realization! I love “full circle” moments. When both ends meet and the light bulb appears.

Is this not making sense? Starting to question why I was so excited and why this post was so important? Stick with me.

At this point in the study I was starting to really understand what scripture was saying but I still was unnerved by the strong language James used. Then, I read the following statement by the author of this study, “...All human flesh quickly fades and passes away. The transience of this earthly existence is both hope to the poor and humility to the rich.”

         I literally proclaimed “OOO! That makes so much sense!” Time stops for no one. Life keeps on and the clock keeps ticking. Nothing we accrue here gets to make the eternal trip with us. Therefore, the poor can boast in that truth; and those who believe in the “I have more, therefore I’m better off” philosophy, or as the commentator wrote, “those who think that the one who dies with the most toys wins” are humiliated.

Luke 12:15 says “And he said to them, “Take care, and be on the you guar against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

                        I love when scripture proves itself true.

I learned another powerful lesson this morning. You must take time for you and the things that rejuvenate you. Life cannot be all about work, the bills, the house, the grades, the bank account or family and friends. There has to be a moment each day where you turn the world off and be still. Who knows, maybe you’ll be surprised and feel the need to share a powerful lesson you’ve learned.

                                        Let it all marinate.

Hopefully it encourages and challenges you as well.

Teaching is the learning profession.

My goodness! I haven’t blogged in AGES. It feels nice to be writing again.
To say I’ve learned a lot during this first year of teaching would be an understatement.
I’ve laughed, cried, kicked, screamed, lost hope and got it back and so much more. My life has been turned upside down since August. But, I wouldn’t change a second of it. It’s been hard, ugly and brutal at times, but all of that has turned to peace, beauty and strength. I’ve learned to let go and breathe. Which, if you know me at all, is HUGE.
I’ve lived and I have learned. I’ve taken chances and failed, but I’ve also taken chances and seen the world become just a shade brighter. There aren’t words to describe the feeling you get when you see a student, who often struggles, read a six digit number without error. Even if the next time they say it they butcher it to pieces. It encourages you and it gives you hope. You see that light at the end of the tunnel. Even if it’s only for a split second; you’ve seen it and you know you’ll see it again.

The greatest thing about being a teacher is also the hardest thing at times…you never stop learning. I LOVE learning new things and teaching people about what I’ve learned….see why I chose my job? However, in order to learn something you often fall flat on your face. As I’ve said in previous posts, handling mistakes is not my strong suit. My perfectionist side tends to take over the moment I realize where and how I’ve messed up. And today was one of those days. Progress Assessments are given so we know what are kids are grasping and what they’re struggling with. It’s really a blessing to get to have this opportunity now, rather than waiting until June. However, I forgot how much of a blessing it was when I was on the phone with my mom processing how my students did. It’s hard to not take this job personally all of the time. This leads me to another challenging, yet incredibly beneficial aspect of my job, figuring out when to carry something and when to put it down. After talking to some of my teacher friends we’ve decided that teachers struggle with this the most. We love our kids and we will do whatever we have to do for them and we will teach a certain skill until we’re blue in the face. So, what happens when they don’t perform the way you hoped? What happens when they look at you completely dazed and confused? As my mom said, “It’s not all one factor. It’s a mix of lots of things. It’s not 97% you.” I KNOW other people outside of my profession can relate to this. When we’re in charge of something and it doesn’t go the way you planned, you carry all of the blame and can’t imagine placing it anywhere else. From what I can gather about my profession, teachers are experts at this. Not because we enjoy beating ourselves up, but we love our kids and we want to give them nothing but the best. So, if they’ve failed at something, we automatically think it’s our fault. But, as momma said, it’s never 97% us. There are things we cannot control. Again, I’m sure you know exactly what I mean and that you’ve been there, too.

If we spend all our time beating ourselves up we’re missing something beautiful. We’re taking away the redemption in the failing…learning from it and moving on. If all we see are our mistakes and failed attempts we’ll miss the chance to see what did go right, even if it was miniscule. Most importantly, we’ll miss the chance learn from it and be better because of it. I’m a big believer in Redemption. God has shown me time and time again that there is nothing he can’t redeem. There is nothing so bad that he can’t bring good from it. There is no place so dark that God can’t illuminate it with his light.

I guess my point in all of this is to live knowing that mistakes are a big part of life. If they weren’t, we’d be perfect and then we’d be in heaven. And, THIS is not heaven…thank God! So, as long as we’re on this side of eternity I’m going to try to embrace my shortcomings and failures with open arms. Which won’t be easy. But, if you’re just handed something that merits work, you often don’t appreciate the outcome as much. *Except for GRACE of course.*

End each day believing in redemption.

You cannot run before you walk.

There has been one nagging thought that I’ve had my whole life.
No doubt it’s generational.
My dad suffers from this, too.
We should make t-shirts because I’m positive millions of people have this thought.
It has nothing to do with weight, although, let’s be honest. Who doesn’t critique their weight?
It has nothing to do with the government….not going there.
It has absolutely nothing to do with sports, politics, war or religion.
It’s about knowledge and how much of it I have.

One way or another I always end up shooting myself in the foot or burning myself out.
I expect too much too fast.
I think I should know more than I do at this exact moment.

I’ve experienced this a lot throughout this first month of school.
Let’s sit on that fact for one moment.
I’ve been teaching for exactly one month today.
Cray-zee.
I’m still expecting someone to walk in and take my classroom away from me and send me off to class.
Not going to happen.

In the last month I have fought myself.
It’s a constant battle.
Here’s the dialogue…
“Ugh! I should know to check my e-mail by now.” Or “I completely screwed my kids up because I forgot to do that today.”  Or “I did it again! Geesh!” Or “Woah. I had NO idea that was due. Where was that listed?” Or “What is that person talking about? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that form.”  Or “I can’t ask another question. I’M sick of hearing myself ask questions.” Or “I thought I knew where that was!”  Those are just a few. Then, the other, more rational and realistic side chimes in…”GRACE. You’re not perfect. Yet again you realize you’re human. Welcome back to Earth”  Or “Hey, you! You’re NEW!”

Even though I work with the most wonderful group of people, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m waiting for someone to say, “Nicolette, you really need to pick it up. Slacker.” Do I really think that’ll happen….no. I work with AMAZING people who are more helpful than I feel I deserve. I get so frustrated with my “new-bee” mistakes that I just expect everyone else to be frustrated, too. But, much to my surprise,  they’re not. What an model of grace, right?

God has really been hammering out the perfectionist in me.
Who knew there was any of that left!?
With everything in me I don’t want to want to be perfect.
I once read a quote that stopped me in my tracks that I still repeat to this day.

“It’s a toxic desire to want to be perfect. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being whole.”

The issue is sometimes you don’t realize the root of your frustration or the reason your upset is because you’re trying to be at a place where you’re not ready to be yet. 

 That’s me.
I feel like I should already know everything everyone else knows.
Due dates. Passwords. Holidays. Birthdays. Schedules. IEP’, SST’s, EOG’s, PEP’s, ….All of the abbreviations in the Education Field make my head spin.
I want to be able to run a marathon without being able to run a mile.

Through many tears of frustration, guilt, stress and fatigue I keep coming back to one realization.
I have to walk.
There is no way to get to my goal if I don’t walk first.
There is no way for me to be the teachers I see around me.
They’re experienced and they’ve done this before.
But, they too had a first year.
They know how it feels to lose your mind and cry for no reason after school.
They know how it feels to be a first year teacher.
I don’t.
One day I’ll be where they’re at but I won’t get there running.

It’s hard to give yourself time.
Especially when your strongest attribute is not patience.

However, I just remember what momma always says…
“How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.”
And, then there is that ever present truth.
Grace is freely given.
Never earned.
It’s still a foreign concept to me, but each day that God lavishes it on me I’m trying to
accept it and not question it.

One day at a time.
One lesson at a time.
One step at a time.

Joshua 1: 5
“Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you.  I will not leave you or forsake you.”

Lamentations 3:22b-24
“His mercies are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore, I will hope in him.”

Grace.

I think a lot of people want to do things right the first time.
I am one of them.
I love learning how to do new things.

I hate messing up.

In that little twisted thought process lies a problem.
How can you learn if you don’t allow enough freedom to make mistakes?

Simple.
You can’t.

This is something I’ve been learning.
Again.

Throughout student teaching I made a lot of mistakes.
I taught the wrong lesson, read the wrong chapter to the students, and sometimes, without explanation, I completely forgot about assignments…even when they were written down.
I have to be honest, when I moved to start this new chapter of my life I kind of hoped those forgetful days were behind me.
Wrong again.
I’m learning how to do things, and I really need to give myself a break.
I don’t know if you can relate to that at all, but hopefully you can relate on some level.

So, I’m trying really hard to remember that I’m new at this.
Even though my University prepared me very well, I’m still new.
I’ve only been in this school for a few weeks.
I’ve never run my own classroom from start to finish.
I’ve never kept a grade book for an entire year.
There is so much left to discover.

I will get there.

It’s just like when you start at a new school.
Every hallway seems longer than the last.
Every new assignment seems to add ten hours to your work load.
Then, before you know it, those same hallways take just minutes to go through and those big assignments don’t seem so daunting.
Like my momma always says,
“How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.”

I think walking through all of this has helped me relate to my 5th graders.
Though they were well prepared coming out of 4th grade, they’re still new.
They’ve never met me.
They don’t know everyone in their class.
Their desk is new.
The room is new.
It’s all brand new.
All over again.

But, even in the midst of forgetting to check my mail and waking up an hour and forty minutes late for work (yes! That happened. But luckily, I made it to work on time!), I love my job and God is still God.
He still has the whole world under control, including my fifth grade classroom.
Including this new curriculum that I’ve never seen.
Including the moments when I cry because I want to get it right the first time.

The funny thing is, if we got things right the first time we wouldn’t need grace nearly as much, if at all.
Realizing that I’m still worth dying for, even when I’m making the same mistakes over and over again really helps me embrace grace.
I’m always going to need grace.
No matter how well I get my routines down.
Some where, along the way, I WILL mess up.

.

.

.

Ouch.
It hurts to say it out loud.
But, it’s the truth.

The more I realize that I will never be perfect, the more I’m OK with my mistakes because then I am engulfed by grace.

This song was my mantra during student teaching  and it’s becoming my anthem once again.
Thank God.
I need to be reminded

Free to Be Me: Francesca Battistelli

“At twenty years of age I’m still looking for a dream
A war’s already waged for my destiny
But You’ve already won the battle
And You’ve got great plans for me
Though I can’t always see

‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together 
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I’m so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I’m free to be me

When I was just a girl I thought I had it figured out 
My life would turn out right, and I’d make it here somehow
But things don’t always come that easy 
And sometimes I would doubt

Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I think I’ve got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me
That I’ve got all You seek
And it’s easy to believe
Even though

I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together 
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I’m so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I’m free to be me”

 Got time to listen to some tunes?
Check out:
This is the stuff by Francesca Battistelli
Good to Know by Fran. B.
Hark the Herald Angels by Daniel Renstrom
Only Grace by Matthew West
Strong Enough by Matthew West
How Great Thou Art:Carrie Underwood
Beautiful, Scandalous Night by Robbie Seay Band

And as always, country music radio is ALWAYS great

Until next time.
Take a break.
Have a kit-kat.

A Week of Firsts.

It has been a whirlwind! Exactly one week ago I left for my new hometown!
This week was full of firsts.

My first time staying at a hotel alone.
King size beds are massive.
I was surrounded by pillows and my books. It was the perfect way to get ready for new staff orientation.

The next first, teacher orientation! Last Tuesday I attended a 3-day, county wide orientation for all of the new teachers. I found myself laughing a few times because it felt like high school all over again, and not just because we were meeting in a local high school. When I walked in I knew no one. It’s an unnerving thing to be the new person, even in a room of new staff. A number of them went to college together and ended up working in the same county. Some of them were just new to the county but not new teachers. When I walked into the cafeteria to await orientation I had the “AH! Where do I sit!?” thought. I picked a table and stuck with my decision. I flipped through all of my orientation materials, ya know, so I wouldn’t look lonely or lost. I tried chatting with another lady at my table but you can only ask so many ‘get to know you’ questions to someone who only responds in short sentences.
Soon enough we were off to orientation. I sat close to the front, as always. It was a typical orientation and I enjoyed most of it. I got to mingle with other 5th grade teachers which was great!   We had the opportunity to spend two hours with an experienced 5th grade teacher. She invited us into her room and blessed us with tons of ideas. This got me real, real excited for my classroom. BUT, wait….I still hadn’t actually BEEN IN my classroom yet, that came later.

The next first of the week was moving into my own place. I am so excited about my place! It’s spacious and empty. But, I love it. I don’t care that my fridge only has cheese sticks, yogurt,milk and left-over subway. I don’t care that my little bed looks so tiny in my…master bedroom.
Side-note: When did I become the adult who gets to sleep in the master?
I dont’ care that I don’t have a washer and dryer yet or that I’m using a card table as my kitchen table.
It’s perfect. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I’m no longer living on my air-mattress, since that was the only piece of furniture I had when I moved in. But, I’m just so thankful to have my place. The stuff to fill it will come. I still have some stuff to bring from home, but I’m also buying little things when I can.
The one thing I’m really excited to buy, and get ready to chuckle because I know it’s nothing major.

I want a butter dish.
If you’ve ever baked, you know it is much easier to cook with soft butter. That’s why I want a butter dish so the butter can sit on my counter, in a cute little “house” and when I want to bake with it, it’ll be ready!

Next, the greatest first of the week. Walking into my classroom for the first time.

After all of the legal papers were signed.
After I had sat through orientation.
After I had to take Betty, my car, to the shop twice to fix her up.
It was time.

I walked into my school and headed for the main office.
The principal greeted me with a smile. He’s knows how much I’ve anticipated seeing my classroom.
Side note: the staff at the school I’ll be working at is absolutely amazing. I am in such a great place!
He handed me the keys to my room and off we went.
I turned the lock and opened the door.
It felt like running down the stairs on Christmas morning. You’re trying imagine what you’re going to see.
The principal showed me around and then left me alone so I could take it all in.
As I stood alone in the middle of this enormous room I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear.

All of the nights I spent talking with my best friends dreaming about life after college, led me here.
All of the tears I cried over closed doors, led me here.
All of the times I prayed and cried out to God because I was sure he had no idea what he was doing.
All of it, led me to right here.

Room 301.

This was not my plan.
This was not where I thought I’d be living.
This is not the county I thought I’d be teaching in.
But, I can honestly say, this is so much better.
Where I am now, is better than what I dreamed.
Go God.

Romans 8:28 “God works all things out for the good of those who love him.”